~ Point of View from Ann Landers ~

Is it Love or Infatuation?

Infatuation is instant desire, one set of glands calling to another. Love is friendship that has caught fire; it takes root and grows day at a time. Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that would just as soon not examine closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is a quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his presence, even he is away. Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that keep replaying. But near of far, you know he is yours and you cant wait.

Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I cant' risk losing him.". Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence".  Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together you hope it will end in intimacy. Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship which makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers. Infatuation lack confidence. When he's away, you wonder if he's cheating. Sometimes you check. Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. He feels your trust, and makes even more trustworthy. Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in wrong direction. Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better  person than you were before.

~ Point of View from Gordon O. Martinborough ~

I took these premises (enumerated) from his book I LOVE YOU.

• Infatuation is ruled by feelings, but love 's feelings are ruled by principles.
• Infatuation is blind, but love sees and examine.
• Infatuation is in a hurry, but love takes time.
• Infatuation is obsessed with externals, but love is concerned with the internals.
• Infatuation is childish, but love is mature.
• Infatuation is a human ditch, but love is a divine ladder.

~ Point of View from Miriam Sarno-Tumangday, Ed. D. ~

I took these premises (enumerated) from her column  Famly Forum  from Health and Home magazine (Nov-Dec 2002 issue. She was the vice-president for academic affairs and dean at the Adventist University of the Philippines.

• Love centers on one person only, while infatuation tends to consider several at the same time.
• Love develops slowly.
• Love recognizes three important things even as interest in the other person awakens compatibility, faults and reality.
• Love motivate behavior, usually toward the positive. Infatuation does the opposite.
• Love controls desire for physical contact, but infatuation explores it.
• Love is selfless, while infatuation is selfish.
• Love brings the approval of family and friends. Infatuation generates disapproval from these two groups.
• Love produces security, infatuation, insecurity.
• Love survives separation. Infatuation easily dies when put to a test like distance.
• If it has to end, love does it slowly.

"Experts say that most people get infatuated several times before finding real love. So what to do when you find yourself infatuated? Recognize it for what it is. Don't take it seriously nor make something it isn't. Follow rules and listen to counsel -- you'll find real love someday." - M.S. Tumangday 

I'm happy to know that a lot of people have found their TRUE LOVE. If you would like to share your quest, please feel free to post in this entry. It serves as an inspiration to those people (like me) who is still in the process of looking or waiting for it.